I have exactly no tattoos on my body and never intend to get any. I’m not against them, some of my very best friends have them, they just aren’t for me. I can’t help thinking that they aren’t for some people who already have them either after walking along a hot and crowded Oxford Street in the centre of London yesterday afternoon.
I saw one chap with the word ‘Lucky’ emblazoned down the left side of his neck, quite ironic really as he had the definite air of someone who had suffered a lot of misfortune. Then there was a lady who seemed to have nothing more than a smudge resembling the shape of Bulgaria on her shoulder. It would have been mistaken for a birth mark had the shape not been so indelibly ink based. I’m still confused about another woman I saw who appeared to have a very small celtic cross on the back of her neck. If you’re going to spend money on a tattoo surely you want it to be in a place that doesn’t require two mirrors and some painstaking contortion in order to see the thing?
I was reminded of a joke I heard years ago about a guy with the initials BB, his first name being Basil. He decides on a whim to go to the local parlour and have his initials tattooed on each butt-cheek. When he gets home he excitedly tells his wife he has a surprise for her, whips down his trousers and bends over. A sight to which his wife angrily responds – “Who the f**k is Bob?”.
I happen to have a tattoo – a black and yellow scorpion on my left arm since you ask – acquired as a naive 19-y-o, although not a decision I’ve ever regretted. I’ve toyed with getting more but other spending priorities and a lowering pain threshold have always got in the way.
You can overdo it though. Some tats can just look uncouth and I don’t see the need to have yourself coloured in like many bikers or rockers tend to.
All down to personal choice I guess.
Entertaining and amusing stuff by the way.
Thanks Stu and Alberto, as I say I’m not anti-tat, it’s just that some of the ones I saw yesterday really did begger belief.
I guess it depends on what makes a good tattoo. I often thing tattoos are a bit like those slogan t-shirts you get. The ‘best’ going by that analogy, were two I saw in the park whilst picnicking last night. This one particular chap had “Caution Choking Hazard tattooed on his naval with an arrow pointing downwards. Now either he was a massive Jimmy Carr fan or Jimmy Carr used to picnic in the same park as me.
The second was a lady of rotund build who by all accounts, had not only eaten all the pies, but also the pie shop, it’s staff, the building and several other local franchise branches. Yes, she was a biggin. Draw to her svelte figure and her amplified command of English slang, I noticed what appeared to be Mandarin script across the area of her lower back, (which I hasten to add, in most civilised societies is usually covered up). Upon closer inspection of her “crack alley” it became clear that the ‘tramp stamp’ was not Mandarin as I had first suspected, but instead italic script with the words “Tradesmen only, for all other enquires, please go round the front”
I was visiting Australia last year. I met my cousin for the first time and he showed me his tat, you can also see it here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/baldboss/3198011767/in/set-72157612622162284/
I have to admit I was a little impressed, especially after his girlfriend told me she was thinking of getting “Come again” in the same place.