The Headphones Wind Release

What follows may appear somewhat coarse to some or a subject of humour and ridicule to others but for joggers everywhere, a real danger worse than shin splints or suffering from a stitch is if the jogger likes to listen to music via headphones during a run. It’s common knowledge that running facilitates bowel movements and as a precursor, wind release. There is no way around this. Unfortunately, while wearing headphones and listening to music, there is no way to determine the volume of the release and often as the body is operating at maximum level, no way to control it. This can all easily lead to public humiliation.

Uncontrollable wind release happens in other physical pursuits such as yoga but that’s a world where breaking wind goes with the territory and is thus largely accepted. It’s also more often than not practiced indoors where everyone is there for the same reason, whereas a runner is usually out in the open and has to pass a large number of unsuspecting pedestrians. One major factor in all of this is the direct correlation between running and motivational music. It’s very unlikely you’ll ever overhear someone say they listened to the KLF’s Chill Out album when doing circuits of the park.

The music used to accompany a run is predominantly loud regardless of tempo although the majority of music listened to is of a fair to quick pace. So, if the music is loud and more than often fast, there is no way to gauge the volume of release and with that, the potential for embarrassment is high if in earshot of others.

There do appear to be a couple of alternative courses of action although neither are wholly satisfying. The first is to get a running machine and use it in the safety of your own home but that is highly expensive. The second is to run without music but that can be tedious if you’re used to enjoying your favourite tunes whilst on the move.  There is the third option of quitting running altogether but that should quickly be ruled out as it’s plainly lazy and as members of society, we really should do all we can to help counteract what is an ever increasing obesity crisis.

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