A Job For A Man, One Man


More grooms than ever are bypassing traditional practices and appointing multiple “best men”. Is it really a case of the groom being so torn between two or more great guys that he cannot possibly choose one over the other or, is he merely hedging his bets should one of them mess up?

This played on my mind when I was one of two best men. It was definitely a learning curve and here is some advice for the speech should you ever be in the same position or know someone who is. Have one of the best men take the lion’s share, as this whole two hander thing is simply awkward and superfluous. Come to some sort of agreement months in advance, for example if one best man agrees to write and perform the majority of the speech the other can do more to arrange, say, the stag party.

We all know that laughs are an imperative so here is an excerpt from a speech I made when I was co-best man. It worked well, got an early chuckle and is simple to perform. You just stand up, thank the bridesmaids as tradition dictates and then you’re off. In my case, the groom was called Al and the co-best man was Rob,  whom I’d given a bit of paper to with his part of the speech on it, literally just a couple of lines so he felt included.

I started by saying the following –  “I would feel a prouder man today if it was just me up here but as it is I simply feel less trusted, less responsible and as a result, less likely to be kind to the groom. I was talking to someone a while back on the subject of there being two best men at this wedding and they were saying  ‘what a ridiculous idea, it’s just stupid. It’s called a best man’s speech, not a best men’s speech’. Well, again I shall say to that person as he’s here today (turn to Rob), Rob, it isn’t our decision to make, it’s Al’s wedding and he’s calling the shots.”

Now, it’s not genius but it does work, a bit like if you use two paper back books as replacement shin guards for football. Of course, if tradition had been adhered to you could bypass all of this and get on to the serious business of embarrassing the groom. These are modern times though and it’s best to be equipped for every eventuality.

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