Along with countless others I have always believed Internazionale to have one of the most iconic shirts in football. Who can mistake the classic and simplistic blue and black stripes of the Nerazzurri? As a result it is quite disturbing to see the new seasons shirt which appears to have been conceived by someone intent on facilitating a headache for anyone who looks at the thing. If this is what happens when a team wins the Champions League I am relieved to support one which never will.

Image – Football Shirt Culture

A few weeks ago I was trying to change the tariff on my mobile phone account and also to get a new hand set. After waiting to be connected to an advisor for about twenty minutes, all the time having to listen to insincere pre-recorded apologies at the waiting time due to a high volume of calls which I’m sure used the official voiceover skills of Sara Cawood, I was eventually put through to someone called “Kath”. Actually, it might have been “Cath” but regardless of the K or C she seemed at first, helpful. The new tariff was quickly set up and I was told that although the phone I wanted wasn’t currently in stock it soon would be and the mobile phone company in question would contact me in the next few days to arrange when I would be at home to sign for it. I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t be out when this delivery occurred and so I expressed my concerns to KCath. Sounding alarmingly dismissive to these concerns I was told “well we don’t just send them out without telling people, we will be in touch”. One week passed – nothing. A second week passed – nothing. Then there was a third – nothing. By this point I was imagining KCath ignoring customer calls and instead trying to eat 6 Tunnocks Tea Takes all at once whilst gloating to workmates that she can fart the melody of Jimmy Nail’s Crocodile Shoes if she has been eating enough fibre.

Today I took a stand and phoned up the mobile company ready for a fight. This would entail me putting on a stronger Scottish accent than normal and making it clear that I would turn up at their headquarters ready to take on anyone who would stand in the way of me and my new phone. Instead and to my surprise, I was greeted by the friendly tones of “Lee” who within a minute had apologised profusely for the work shy foppishness of KCath and informed me that I would have a new phone sent out tomorrow. Why can’t there be more Lee’s in the workplace? To that man I say thank you. To KCath I say pull your socks up and if as I suspect,  you would rather be at home rubbing your arse with a brick than doing what you are supposedly paid for then do so. Right, that’s all off the chest and another one of life’s small burdens has been lifted. I feel I’ve come out on top today but tomorrow will be another battle…